Funny Glossary
For your amusement, we present to you our funny glossary of assorted car- and transportation-related terms:
- Accident
- An excuse waiting to happen
- Act of God
- A natural catastrophe causing widespread destruction for which God is named as the defendant in a class action lawsuit
- Airbag
- A non-stop blabbermouth who won't shut up
- Backseat driver
- That befuddled-looking person operating the steering wheel at the back of a speeding fire truck
- Bar Association
- Inmates in a DUI holding cell
- Body shop
- A human organ repository
- Bumper sticker
- A cheesy t-shirt slogan for your car
- Car sickness
- Automobile problems
- Car wash
- What happens to you are as you are walking down the street after a rainstorm and some inconsiderate motorist speeds through a nearby puddle of water
- Classic car
- Your description of your old clunker from your student days
- Dead on arrival (D.O.A.)
- How a bickering couple may appear upon arriving at a party or other function after fighting bitterly in the car
- Deductible
- The sum total of all the repair bills on your car
- Dipstick
- A breadstick used to scoop onion dip
- Double park
- To put your car in park and engage the parking break
- Drive shaft
- Rude act of giving a fellow motorist the finger while behind the wheel
- Easy Street
- A street or neighborhood frequented by prostitutes and prospective clients
- Escape velocity
- The speed at which you are finally able to shake off your pursuer(s) (e.g., a cop in hot pursuit)
- Fjord
- A Scandanavian automobile company
- Fuel cell
- A gasoline-powered mobile phone
- Greyhound bus
- A vehicle for transporting racing dogs to all their various events
- Head 'em off at the pass
- To speed up when someone tries to overtake you on the road
- Head for the hills
- To vacation in the mountains
- Holy Toledo
- Robin's exclamation of annoyance upon realizing he and Batman got off at the wrong exit on their way to Akron, OH
- Hothouse
- A stolen mobile home
- Mover and shaker
- A slipshod moving company with a reputation for damaging items in transit
- Muscle car
- A snazzy 8-cylinder vehicle that runs on testosterone
- One hit wonder
- A wreckless driver with only one hit-and-run accident to date
- Paint the town red
- To spread Communism
- Pass with flying colors
- To overtake someone on the highway with your old clunker as it spews out blue smoke
- Ramblin' man
- An extremely verbose individual who never gets to the point
- Skid road
- A street made slippery by the dislodging of car oil and other contaminants from the first raindrops in a storm
- Spark plugs
- Hair folical implants designed to stimulate natural hair growth
- Terminal velocity
- The speed at which a cop catches up with you on the highway to pull you over for speeding
- Toll free
- Used to describe out-of-pocket expenses for road trips taken by those who speed through toll booths without paying
- Traffic jam
- The condiments that result when you have a trunk full of fruits and vegetables and you get rear-ended
- Vehicular homicide
- The act of blowing up your car to collect the insurance
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