Funny Glossary

roses are red 02 bumper sticker

For your amusement, we present to you our funny glossary of assorted car- and transportation-related terms:

An excuse waiting to happen
Act of God
A natural catastrophe causing widespread destruction for which God is named as the defendant in a class action lawsuit
A non-stop blabbermouth who won't shut up
Backseat driver
That befuddled-looking person operating the steering wheel at the back of a speeding fire truck
Bar Association
Inmates in a DUI holding cell
Body shop
A human organ repository
Bumper sticker
A cheesy t-shirt slogan for your car
Car sickness
Automobile problems
Car wash
What happens to you are as you are walking down the street after a rainstorm and some inconsiderate motorist speeds through a nearby puddle of water
Classic car
Your description of your old clunker from your student days
Dead on arrival (D.O.A.)
How a bickering couple may appear upon arriving at a party or other function after fighting bitterly in the car
The sum total of all the repair bills on your car
A breadstick used to scoop onion dip
Double park
To put your car in park and engage the parking break
Drive shaft
Rude act of giving a fellow motorist the finger while behind the wheel
Easy Street
A street or neighborhood frequented by prostitutes and prospective clients
Escape velocity
The speed at which you are finally able to shake off your pursuer(s) (e.g., a cop in hot pursuit)
A Scandanavian automobile company
Fuel cell
A gasoline-powered mobile phone
Greyhound bus
A vehicle for transporting racing dogs to all their various events
Head 'em off at the pass
To speed up when someone tries to overtake you on the road
Head for the hills
To vacation in the mountains
Holy Toledo
Robin's exclamation of annoyance upon realizing he and Batman got off at the wrong exit on their way to Akron, OH
A stolen mobile home
Mover and shaker
A slipshod moving company with a reputation for damaging items in transit
Muscle car
A snazzy 8-cylinder vehicle that runs on testosterone
One hit wonder
A wreckless driver with only one hit-and-run accident to date
Paint the town red
To spread Communism
Pass with flying colors
To overtake someone on the highway with your old clunker as it spews out blue smoke
Ramblin' man
An extremely verbose individual who never gets to the point
Skid road
A street made slippery by the dislodging of car oil and other contaminants from the first raindrops in a storm
Spark plugs
Hair folical implants designed to stimulate natural hair growth
Terminal velocity
The speed at which a cop catches up with you on the highway to pull you over for speeding
Toll free
Used to describe out-of-pocket expenses for road trips taken by those who speed through toll booths without paying
Traffic jam
The condiments that result when you have a trunk full of fruits and vegetables and you get rear-ended
Vehicular homicide
The act of blowing up your car to collect the insurance